Didn’t Know What I Was Getting Into: Heartbreak of WORKING So Hard to Be Chosen by the Wrong People

Let’s talk about the quiet shame no one warns you about:

Not the shame of messing something up.

Not the shame of not knowing what you’re doing.

But the shame of realizing: this thing I wanted?

This person I pursued? Was never actually aligned.

That’s a hard pill to swallow when you’re a recovering people-pleaser with a business built on heart. And especially when you initiated it. You saw the potential. You had the passion and thought you saw the vision.

You said, Let me in. I can help you grow this.

And for a while, you did. Until the whole thing started to feel… tight.

Off-rhythm.

Emotionally confusing.

Like you were constantly translating for someone who wasn’t speaking the same energetic language.

And even then, you stayed a little longer.

You thought, Maybe I’m just tired.

Maybe they’re stressed.

Maybe I can adjust how I communicate… again.

Let me say this clearly: You are allowed to outgrow the thing you once chased.

You are allowed to pivot after you see what it actually demands.

And you are allowed to walk away with your clarity intact, even if it makes someone uncomfortable.

Because here’s the thing: When someone says, “Sorry for asking a question” when you weren't inconvenienced or “I got us off track” when you had to set a boundary, that’s not a red flag.

That’s a red flare.

That’s a signal that the relationship isn’t built for the kind of co-creation your work requires. That feedback isn’t flowing both ways. That the trust isn’t mutual, it’s transactional.

And baby, you didn’t build a business not being able to show up as yourself in it.

The Unknowns of Intuitive Entrepreneurship.

You built this thing to be intuitive, collaborative, expansive.

So what do you do when the truth catches up to your loyalty?

You take a breath.

You name it.

You draft the email.

You cancel the invoice.

And you organize the Google Drive like the grown-ass CEO you are.

Because the way you leave things? That’s your brand too.

You don’t ghost.

You don’t spiral.

You don’t send a 13-paragraph justification.

You say: We’re out of rhythm. And that’s enough reason to go.

Faultlines and Thresholds

And if they freak out? That’s data (for them & your business), not your responsibility. The reframe that’s keeping me grounded: I didn’t mess up by pursuing the client. I just didn’t have the full picture yet. And when I did? I made a new choice. A clearer one. A braver one. A boundary-rich, soul-protective one. And yeah, it still stings.

But I’d rather hold the sting of getting clipped by a harsh edge than the chronic hum of misalignment.

Here’s to the clean exits.

Here’s to the nervous system wins.

Here’s to learning what we didn’t know at the start and having the guts to pivot anyway.

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About Amanda — the Entraprenotsure™ behind MYQB. I'm a queer, neurodivergent, recovering perfectionist who built a business out of grief, creativity, and way too many browser tabs. I’m not here to give you a one-size-fits-all formula. I’m here to help amplify your voice, your rhythm, and a way of showing up that feels like you.

I started Mind Your Queer Business for the misfits, the feelers, the overthinkers, and the creatively stubborn—especially those building empires in nap time increments. Around here, we build brands and marketing strategies that actually make sense for who you are, not who the internet told you to be.

If you’ve ever felt like entrepreneurship wasn’t built for someone like you, good news: you get to rebuild it.