The Heart Is Rarely On Time

I pulled a Year Ahead spread with the amazing Kim Krans, and March was The Heart. So here it is, fashionably late, but always on brand.

Archetype Deck Images copyright Kim Krans and The Wild Unknown

I remember feeling warm, soft, almost relieved when I saw the heart card, like it meant something gentle was coming, completely underestimating its strength and complexity and forgetting, entirely, that it lives in the human body.

Entrepreneurship this past 6 months has been what I can only describe as a full doozy.

I built this business to be fucking whimsical,

Think Island of Misfit Toys x Tank Girl,

Think Gizmo eating snacks after midnight in the bath.

Think neurodivergent digital eutopia meets google drive and Quickbooks from hell.

and I'm ok with that, but like most things, time and the slow drip of what goes unchecked has started to catch up with me.

This business isn’t separate from me, it never was, so when things feel off or heavy it lands in my body. And right now, intimately, things are kind of hard.

For once in my life I’m not going to overshare

But I will say this: there’s a specific kind of loneliness I feel, the kind that hums under everything, a low-grade longing, a heart that feels wildly out of practice when it comes to its own desire. Cue the perimenopausal and elder millennial memes.

It's not repressed, not broken, just…unfamiliar with itself in this moment.

It started as an email thing because I thought I needed a container to take it seriously.

Once a month, archetype reflections, a little dispatch into the void to prove to myself I could stay consistent. A couple of my best Judys signed up, which felt both perfect and wildly humbling, like oh right, this isn’t about audience capture, it’s about me actually showing up to the thing. So I’m pivoting it back to the blog. Same pulse, less ceremony. The format was starting to feel like a workaround instead of the point.

The point was always to stay in relationship with these archetypes in real time, not just pull the card, and move on like I didn’t just open something. And also, my playlists are too good to keep to myself. That’s not even ego, IYKYK.

You Know The Heart Has Arrived When...

In Light

• letting someone see your real reaction before you shape it

  
  

• staying present in connection instead of managing how you’re perceived

  
  

• noticing what feels easy vs. what feels like effort

  
  

• not over-explaining your needs to make them more acceptable

  
  

• letting yourself want closeness without immediately bracing for it

  
  

• recognizing where you feel safe enough to soften

  
  

• choosing honesty over keeping the peace (in small, real ways)

  
  

• allowing yourself to be known without performing coherence

In Shadow

• editing your reactions in real time to stay likable or low-maintenance

  
  

• over-accommodating to avoid even minor friction

  
  

• minimizing your needs before anyone else has a chance to respond to them

  
  

• defaulting to independence when something actually matters

  
  

• staying slightly removed so you don’t have to fully feel what’s there

  
  

• tolerating subtle misalignment because it’s easier than naming it

  
  

• making yourself easier to understand instead of more accurate

  
  

• holding back parts of yourself to avoid being “too much” or “too complicated”

I keep telling myself I’m “fine” like It's a personality trait and not a delay tactic.

Saying “it’s not that deep” about something that is, in fact, exactly that deep. Craving intimacy but trying to control the conditions, the timing, the tone, and the outcome. Noticing when something feels off and giving it 3–5 business days to become a pattern before I’ll admit it. Saying I want to be seen and then editing myself mid-sentence. Acting surprised when things that matter to me…matter to me. Wanting softness but approaching everything like a negotiation. Pretending I’m out of practice when really I’ve just been out of use. Saying “for once I’m not going to overshare” and then…this.

The heart isn't confused.

It just won't show up until I do.

Love Notes From The MYQB FEral UnDERGROUND

The Heart Playlist

less “vibe” and more evidence against me.

Pinterest Heart Board

basically my subconscious with a save button.

Archetype Readings

because apparently i prefer witnessing patterns to admitting i’m in one.

---

About Amanda — the Entraprenotsure™ behind MYQB. 

I'm a queer, neurodivergent, recovering perfectionist who built a business out of grief, creativity, and way too many browser tabs. I’m not here to give you a one-size-fits-all formula. I’m here to help amplify your voice, your rhythm, and a way of showing up that feels like you.

I started Mind Your Queer Business for the misfits, the feelers, the overthinkers, and the creatively stubborn—especially those building empires in nap time increments. Around here, we build brands and marketing strategies that actually make sense for who you are, not who the internet told you to be. If you’ve ever felt like entrepreneurship wasn’t built for someone like you, good news: you get to rebuild it.